The lost vibrator

My dad thinks he has a sense of humor. Whenever he and my mother have helped me move (several times now in the past few years) and he's off in some corner attending to some harmless task, he likes to pop his head up and go "Oh, a stash of condoms!"

Obviously, this joke only works because

1. My dad and I have the kind of relationship where we can joke about things like this, and
2. I actually have/had a condom stash in my room

Fortunately, neither of my parents have ever found said stash because I'm sure I would endure a lifetime of teasing from them if they ever did uncover it. However, because my parents are cool, I never really worried too much about it. I was always far more concerned that they'd find my vibrator, the discovery of which I'm convinced would be much more awkward.

No, this story does not end with either of my parents finding my vibrator because I've somehow lost it.

What makes this most interesting is the fact that I don't ever recall removing my vibrator from my room at any point, but I'm positive that it would've been uncovered during my most recent moves, which it obviously has not.

Anyway, this presents a problem for me in my recent single-dom, for obvious reasons. It's probably better this way anyway, that thing was a cheap piece of crap, maybe it's time for an upgrade...